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Childhood Insecurities by *OibyrdsDDs:iconOibyrdsDDs:

Categories Digital Art > Photomanipulation > Emotional

©2007-2009 *OibyrdsDDs
:iconoibyrdsdds:

Artist's Comments

This one is so personal - I am actually hesitant to put it in my art account. Ah well...you guys deserve more art from me on this page anyway ;)

After having Isobelle (my now two and a half year old daughter) I experienced some very brutal emotional issues/mood swings. I thought they would eventually dwindle into nothing...but they seem to have gotten worse...

my poor beloved husband gets the brunt of my issues, and tonight was one of those nights where I just snapped.

this deviation is just a visual on how I feel - that insecure, broken feeling that one has as a teenager, or even younger - it has enveloped me after having two very hectic thanksgiving celebrations. I come home - and I brood, and I cry and I tell myself I'm fucking crazy....then the next day. Poof. I'm alright. for the time being.

Anyone familiar with this sort of psychosis? I am so tired of it :no: I very rarely leave my apartment. I panic every damn time the phone rings. I'm beside myself when holidays rear their ugly heads. And why?? no damn clue. I just come unglued.

This image is also...an apology of sorts to my husband for the meltdown I had yesterday. He is so patient with me - and I know that I am a pill to live with (even on good days) and for that...I am truly truly sorry bear. You don't deserve what I dish out when I'm in a bad headspace - and I love you more than I could ever express in words, in visual..or in action.

No critique. For obvious reasons. :heart: thx to all of you who inadvertantly let me rant ;) xoxo
S.

STOCK CREDIT:
Little Girl Spirit :icontracie76stock:
Girl with Toy :iconlindowyn-stock:

Backdrop and hair on little girl purchased on renderosity.com
(please see my art account :iconoibyrd: for a list of purchased resources I use frequently if you are interested in them!)

Comments


love 2 2 joy 2 2 wow 3 3 mad 0 0 sad 3 3 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconrita-ria:
*Rita-Ria Oct 9, 2007, 2:51:40 AM
Great work.
And with a little kid like yours, you always go through hard times...
But be sure, it will become better... till they are in their teenages... ;) but then you can "TALK" with them
At least thats my experience with my two daughters
Sometimes I "wonder" how old I am, because I dont feel that way ;)

--
[link] <- have a look :D
:iconskipychic:
*Skipychic Oct 9, 2007, 3:05:15 AM
emotionally beautiful.. and very very haunting..

--
"Whoops" is a word that should never be said by some professions - Pilots, Racing car drivers, and hair colourists come immediately to mind but Dentists also have to be up in the top five .

Flying is simple, just throw yourself at the ground, and miss
:iconoriginalkitten:
*originalkitten Oct 9, 2007, 3:39:41 AM
Beautiful work sweetie. You may have post natal depression. I had that and its horrible. The mood swings are horrible. I hated seeing people and actually became a recluse. I had panic attacks and I was constantly high one min and low the next. If ya wanna note me hun I'll fill u in more....but it does pass. :glomp: thinking ofyou

--
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away

Proud Promo artist of DDU
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:iconoibyrd:
`oibyrd Oct 9, 2007, 3:52:17 AM
yes post pardom is what folks have told me - from my doctor to my relative who had it herself...I didn't realize it lasted so long though :no: it seems almost like an exuse for being nuts when it's nearly three years later ya know?

I appreciate your comment :cling: and absolutely note me - personal experiences from others usually makes me feel less nuts ;)

--
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
:iconoriginalkitten:
*originalkitten Oct 9, 2007, 4:04:15 AM
yeah mine wasnt diagnosed till Steven was 18mths old. And it can hit ya anytime. Dam hormones lol.... Ill note ya later huney. Gotta shoot out soon and if I forget spank me and let me know lol

--
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away

Proud Promo artist of DDU
Join the mafia!
:iconlucieg-stock:
*LucieG-Stock Oct 9, 2007, 4:34:36 AM
Some people have post-partum depression stronger then others, in some case it may go away by itself, but it's also possible you need a bit of help, did your doctor prescribe anything for it? If it's been 3 years I'd say you do need some help... Talk to your doctor again...
:iconashes2infinity:
*ashes2infinity Oct 9, 2007, 4:42:53 AM
sandi, we're in the same spot.
after my car accident i have serious aggression issues..different reasons but i feel your pain.
it's not weakness to need pills, i just took some.
i deal with pains on all levels.
as for the holidays, they take alot of self medicating to get through anyway.
:hug:
:iconjoannastar:
^joannastar Oct 9, 2007, 5:21:23 AM
oh honey :hug: I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Hang in there!

This is so beautiful and haunting.

--
I am not fond of expecting catastrophes, but there are cracks in the universe. --Sydney Smith


Gallery Moderator, 3 Dimensional Art
joannastar[at]volunteers.deviantart.com
:iconashenden:
~Ashenden Oct 9, 2007, 7:31:33 AM
The holidays are always the worst time for lots of people, including me. Emotional stress is at it's peak, from all the socialising and the pointless conversations and the tensions that inevitably arise. Don't worry. and don't be afraid to seek professional help if you need some. We all need it sometimes :(

--
A good photograph is knowing where to stand
- Ansel Adams

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:iconlasrever:
~LasRever Oct 9, 2007, 7:37:07 AM
This is very provocative. It's amazing, I hardly ever find art that moves me on an emotional level anymore.
I'm sorry you're going through some tough times. Just know that there will always be people around you that really care for your well-being. Let their strength become yours. Sorry to sound so corny but It's always my friends and family that help me get through my troubles. :hug:

--
. Ripe (with decay) .
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